#1: When people order waters with their drinks.

"Could I get a diet coke and a water?"

This makes me seethe. California is currently in a water crisis, yet assholes still feel the need to order a water with their beverage of choice. 99% of the time they don't even fucking drink it. It's most annoying because it is an extra drink to carry. Often times people order upwards of 4 drinks- 3 of which are most likely unnecessary. Water is always amongst these 3.

People who are guilty of this annoying crime always have a bullshit defense for it. Their excuses include ridiculous ideas such as the notion that ordering a water with a drink will keep them from consuming too much sugar. This is stupid because you already consumed a syrupy soda to begin with, so you're only fooling yourself (and the culprits are often the assholes who order drinks like cherry coke that are basically just pure corn syrup anyway). Other times they argue that they are really thirsty. I understand this, yet I'm a believer in not counting my chickens until they've hatched. Drink one drink at a time, I promise you I'll get you a refill quickly.

And yet, while these people are annoying, they aren't half as bad as the assholes who only order water to save money. To these people I say, "fuck you". If you can't afford a fucking diet coke, don't go out and waste everyone's time! Just because you saved $2.00 on your $25.00 tab doesn't mean that you can give me a smaller tip. It just means that you're an asshole.